8 ways to be less judgmental of Yourself and others
Just yesterday on my way home in a taxi, I eavesdropped on a conservation of two beautiful ladies who as per their dialogue did not feel comfortable and content with their bodies. In their dialogue, they wished to cut off some body fats, one said: “You gal, I tried the gym but see my tummy…I haven't even produced, what if I give birth, won’t I look funny?” Like any other traveler, I tried minding my business but the chat kept ringing in my mind for minutes, I thought, the fact that these ladies are judgemental of their bodies, they can be judgmental to other peoples’ bodies too.
I then asked myself, who will love our bodies, if we don’t love them? Why don’t we for once appreciate our bodies the way it is? What is wrong with what God uniquely made from his image?
Being less judgmental of yourself and others is an important step towards personal growth, improved relationships, and a more positive outlook on life. But is very difficult for a lot of people to adjust here are some 8 strategies I share to help you become less judgmental:
- Increase your self-awareness. It is elementary to see what other people are doing wrong than to notice your wrong behavior. You can do this by self-reflecting and analyzing your thoughts and reactions to other people’s decisions and actions. While reflecting, you will notice that you are probably doing the same things or worse than what you judge others for doing. If you feel that you shouldn’t be judged for your actions, then it is healthy to stop judging others as well. When you become self-aware, you will pay more attention to your negative thoughts about others and yourself. Paying attention to your thoughts and the judgments you make about yourself and others will help you to be less judgemental of yourself and others.
2. Stop chasing and Expecting perfection. It is right to expect yourself or others to always be perfect because perfection is unattainable. We are humans and we can’t always manage to do things right all the time. As such when learning how to be less judgemental of yourself and others, one of the first steps to take is to remind yourself that you are not perfect and neither is everyone else, nor should they be.
If you try to chase and expect perfection from yourself and others, you will likely be frequently disappointed and frustrated by what you consider failure and flows. To learn how to stop being judgemental, and accept your own and other people’s imperfections.
3. Avoid generalizing: Do you know how it feels to be accused of something you didn’t do? That’s the same way it feels when you judge people by generalizing them based on things such as their age, culture, race, gender, and education levels among other things. It is quite easy to generalize things and people rather than analyze the complexity and uniqueness. But by doing so, you would be unfair to those who do not fit the description or label you put on them. When you catch yourself making a judgment, ask yourself why you’re making that judgment. Consider if the judgment is based on assumptions or stereotypes, and whether it’s fair or accurate.
4. Embrace and love the whole you: Referring back to the earlier stories of the two ladies, if they love and embrace the person they are, they will be less judgemental to themselves and others. We often judge ourselves more harshly than anyone else does. We will be the first to point out the things we find fault in ourselves, whether it is our bodies, personality, habits, or quirks. To fit in or be acceptable, you may even try to change yourself to tone down your weirdness and uniqueness. However, if you want to learn how to be less judgemental of yourself, you need to embrace and love everything that makes you, YOU. After all, if you don’t love and accept your true self, how can anyone else love and accept you?
5. Be empathetic. It is easy to judge someone when you have no idea how it feels to be them or in the same situation. Put yourself in others’ shoes and try to understand their perspectives, feelings, and motivations. Recognize that everyone has their struggles and experiences that may influence their behavior. You can’t relate to what they are going through or understand what motivates their actions. The one thing you have to understand is that everyone is struggling with something in their life, and most times, even when their actions seem irrational or bad, there are reasons for them.
Being empathic is crucial if you want to learn how to be less judgmental of yourself and others. When you are tempted to judge someone’s decisions or actions, pause and put yourself in their shoes.
6. Cut off bad influence. Did you know that the people you surround yourself with can influence you to be a judge person? Perhaps you have been hanging out with gossip, pessimists, or very critical people, you will develop these habits of judgment. If you spend most of your time with friends who are very judgemental of themselves and others, it will be no surprise when you also become a judgemental person.
7. Keep an open mind. Oftentimes, we judge others when their actions do not align with what we consider right. But everyone has their values, beliefs, upbringing, culture, experiences, and circumstances that guide their actions and way of thinking. By being close-minded and judging others for doing things you think are controversial, you could alienate them, hence miss out on making new friends or gaining a new perspective. As you learn how to be less judgemental of others, be open-minded and accept things and people who are different from what you are used to.
8. Mind your own business. Are you the kind of person who often gives unsolicited advice and opinions to people about their private lives? Why do you feel the need to intrude and judge other people’s actions and choices? One of the key things to remember as you learn how to be less judgmental of others is that what people choose to do with their lives doesn’t concern you. If their actions do not impact you either directly or indirectly, mind your own business, and let them live their life however they want.
Becoming less judgmental is a gradual process that requires patience and self-compassion. By implementing these strategies, you can cultivate a more accepting and empathetic mindset towards yourself and others.