DYING HEART

coursety photo

I was tired of pretending be fine,

I needed to walk out,

I need peace, love and happiness

I never thought of committing adultery or phofication, because there was someone to fall back too when the body demands. Everyone appreciated our relationship, I could feel the bondage even when we are,(that was long, way back when my heart was alive).

I thought going for a traditional marriage and paying the bride price would make the relationship blossom and all the problems would be solved…I ,did all was required by my parents in-law.

I needed this woman, and sacrificed the little I invested to make her happy

But,

No,

….

I was not happy, I was dying….

She is not seeing my tears, all she wants is to wed her in church before we start up a family, she is not sharing my pain and my misery, all she wants is the glomus wedding.

She was in the matter of material gain not marriage.

Why not?

I need this woman…

I wedded her in church and the words that the world heard of our glomus wedding was to be written on a white wood .

This convinced myself that the battle in the battleground of our “admired” relationship is over, yes! I convinced myself.

It was deception , I was conned, fooled and myself is lost…

I was robbed

I can’t find myself

I am easy to anger

I am dying…….

………..

It’s like I speak

but no one ever listens

so here is what I need to say

before my time is up

I want you to know that I love you

and you mean the World to me..

But,

I will find love, peace and happiness

with someone else

because,

my own self- consciousness cries out to me coldly;

how does one love zero?